Friday, October 23, 2009

Risk


As we continue our journey through Martha Beck's The Joy Diet at The Next Chapter with Jamie Ridler we were invited this week to explore risk. "Every day, do at least one frightening thing that contributes to the fulfillment of your desires."

I don't have any big dramatic risks that are tugging at me at the moment. I'm in a much more contemplative place trying to figure out my next move. So, I won't be rock climbing or jumping out of a plane (although a former student of mine did just that this past week). My risks are smaller but just as seemingly inexplicable.

I have this baffling need to make art. Painting, drawing, photography, paper collage - you name it - I need to do it. I don't know why. I have no talent or training. I HAVE a god-given talent (as they say). I sing. I'm good at what I do. I get paid to do it, people come to me to teach them how to do it. So, why the hell am I painting for god sake??? I have NO idea.

These are also the risks that call to me: "Go ahead - buy that paint," "Get down on the ground to get that shot (even if people are looking)," "Take that workshop." And I did - all of it. I'm taking Carmen Torbus's Spill It workshop. There are people in this workshop who know what they are doing - I mean - they are artists. I haven't had any kind of art class since the third grade when our teacher threw a chalk board eraser at one of my classmates because his tree was "wrong." Yet, here I am posting my work right up along side of theirs. You have to be a risk taker or an idiot to do something like that!!!! Carmen and my fellow workshop participants have all been incredibly kind and supportive and I am so grateful for that.

I'm not sure where all of this is taking me. I pull at the thread of a thought that says, as I am changing, this amorphous goo in the chrysalis, what I have to say and how I say it is changing, too. I'm not sure that the visual arts will be the final incarnation of my metamorphosis but I know it will inform it. So...I paint.

PS: the item on top of my books is a really cool watercolor palette that my husband gave me years ago. He eventually took it for himself because I never used it. I still probably won't use it much. It's a little cumbersome and at the moment it's filled with his colors not mine. Reclaiming it, however, is symbolic. I acknowledge this part of myself.


(collage done for Carmen Torbus's Spill It Workshop)

18 comments:

Lawendula said...

Very nice artwork and the books sound interesting. Will look them up on Amazon.
Have a great week!

Dia said...

Mmm - love the colours & contemplative nature of your vision card! I keep intending to make some - & just haven't!
Congrads on taking the class & being willing to reclaim some artistic goals.

& as you've found, the urge to create doesn't have much to do with logic, a lot of the time!

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Enjoy the colour, the textures, the process! Paint to your heart´s content and you can also sing while you do it. :)
I wonder what happened to your third grade art teacher. That much violence for a "wrong" tree!

Grammy said...

I love art to and I am not trained either. But is it such a joy that every one should do it. You page is wonderful. So paint away it is beautiful.
Have a wonderful week.
Note:
I am only reading posts and not posting on this book any more.

GraceGal said...

You are brave! Posting amongst the "experts". I applaud you :)

WrightStuff said...

Oh Kim, what a lovely read. You're just creative - that's what the art thing is all about. Who said you had to be any good - it's about doing what you enjoy, what makes you happy and if painting is that, then go for it. And by the way - that pic at the bottom is rather lovely so less of the I'm no good at it routine please! I nearly signed up for the course myself, but am a touch over-committed at the moment. I may catch up with it later in the year.
I think we all change as we grow older, so stick with the painting, you may just find you're the next Van Gogh!

Amy said...

Good for you in taking any risk. I am not as good at taking my own advice, but I think it is important to push yourself especially when there is a desire to do something that is feared! Enjoy the workshop, especially the process, even if the final product is not what you envisioned.

gemma said...

Cool stack of books you've got there. I love Violette's Journal Bliss. Tons of good ideas in there.
:-)

valli said...

Here's to making the art which moves you. Love the collage. It's beautiful. I really get a magical feeling from it.

Lisa @sacred circle said...

Wow, for someone who doesn't feel the need to take any risks at the moment, you certainly are brave and inspiring! Just the very notion that you are entertaining your desire to paint speaks volumes. Beautiful words, and beautiful collage! :)

Ellecubed said...

Thank you so much for sharing your week with risk. I think it is great that you have signed up for an art class. May it bring you one step closer to all of your desires.

sherry ♥ lee said...

This is so cool Kim...you were saying you weren't really thinking of any big dramatic risks and I thought...yes, but you told me you were new to putting your work out there for others to see when you began to post your work in the photos at "Spill It" -- and then you mentioned it in your post and shared some of your work!!

That is a great "risk" to take -- to put yourself out there. We are so overwhelmed by the judgment and criticism that can come from others that we hold ourselves back.

I'm glad you are moving beyond that and sharing your beautiful work with us!!!

The Other Laura said...

What a beautiful collage! How brave (and risky) of you to be expressing yourself in a new medium. You're inspiring...

Lucy Ladham-Dyment said...

It is amazing - teachers can inspire and they can kill a child. Imagine throwing the chalk board eraser at your fellow class mate. Who is this teacher to tell another person - how he or she sees a tree. Art is in the imagination of the beholder.

Anyways - great post. Thanks for sharing.

kaileenelise said...

i really like your artwork above... it sounds to me like you are embracing your intuition - keep up the great work. you may not be jumping out of planes, but you are taking risks every day. xo, kaileenelise

Karen D said...

Thanks for sharing your journey with risk this week, I love your painted collage, may you continue to find joy in exploring your creative side.

Beverley Baird said...

Kim - you have so eloquently spoken what I feel!
I love to create - but have little training. No matter - I am enjoying this journey. Each time I blog I risk putting out my work but no matter - I do.
I love your new artwork!

Carmen said...

Great post!

My own little place to explore my creativity and imagination