Thursday, October 1, 2009


(I'm posting early so I can go to bed early tonight - hopefully.)

This week I've been trying to face the truth. In her book, The Joy Diet, Martha Beck asks us to create and absorb at least one moment of truth each day. After 15 minutes of "nothing" she suggests we ask ourselves the following questions:

What am I feeling?

What hurts?

What is the painful story I'm telling?

Can I be sure my painful story is true?

Can I think of another story that might work better?

Here's what I know is true - I'm in transition. I'm perimenopausal, (which, by the way, pretty much sucks - I don't recommend it *hee-hee*), I'm drifting away from what once was my livelihood and full time passion and my little girl has become a teenager. I am acutely aware of all of this. The trouble with transition is - you have to go through it. Grr! My mind is full of questions, doubts, wonders and I know that this restlessness is practically oozing from my pores. So, when I plopped down to do nothing this week and ask myself the questions, I was pretty sure I knew which direction the answers were going to go. Lord knows I have all kinds of issues just standing in line waiting to unearth themselves.

I was derailed with the first question.

"What are you feeling?"

And there it was like a stretch of bright blue sky - I'm happy. I'm happy for no reason.

I'm happy.

You'd have to know me these days to really appreciate how surprising that was to me. Content, accepting, resigned, maybe - but happy? You'd have to know me to know how hard that is for me to say - I'm happy. Bitingly funny, sarcastic - probably - but happy?

How wonderful to know that along side all of this transition there is happiness. It's right there for me to grab on to whenever I want it.

My truth is I'm happy. Now ain't that somthing?

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Lawendula said...

Hi Kim, first: thank you so much for your nice comment! :)
second: glad you're happy! Enjoy it! (That's what this book is about, hm?)
What is perimenopausal? Sounds thrilling! If this is what I am: close to menopause, but not really started, then I really know what you feel, it's a hard time. And thank God/dess, I have a child now, feeling, that it's now a little bit too late would be not easy to bare.
So I wish you a happy happy week and a wonderful journey into the realms of DESIRE....

Hybrid J said...

This the most beautiful post I have read so far ... Thank you! By being happy, you're also making me happy. If only you could see me now - I'm smiling. :)

Genie Sea said...

What a delightful discovery! I love what comes up with the simple question, what am I feeling! :)

valariebudayr said...

Here's to your happiness. Have a great week in desire.

Karen D said...

Thanks for sharing your truth of happiness this week! I am hitting the peripause also....

Joanne Hunold said...

So glad you are happy, that you realized you are happy, despite your challenges, and that you embraced it!

Delara said...

wonderful that you were able to feel a true feeling (even if it seemed dissonant to your MIND) and just dwell in the truth of your happiness for a moment. our heart always knows the truth DEEP inside, right? sometimes it takes a moment for our minds to catch up. and in any case, surprises are always fun, yes? thank you for sharing your truth!

Lisa said...

Hurray, you're happy! I think it's so interesting how we tend to think that truth means something dark, secret, filled with struggle. Congrats on discovering quite the opposite! :)

Melinda said...

so thankful you are happy and can recognize it and savor it!!

Diva Kreszl said...

It's so wonderful that we can indeed still experience joy and happiness while searching for our truth. I can totally relate to menopause as I am post's like an out of body experience!

The Other Laura said...

What a wonderful truth to uncover!

Ellecubed said...

What an amazing truth to stumble upon. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with the chapter on truth.

yogag33k said...

How refreshing!! So nice to hear someone "going with the flow" and HAPPY about it! Keep workin' it!! See you next weeek! xo

Grammy said...

Oh I wish I would have thought of that answer too. As I am happy. But this chapter lead me back to my past and angered me. I wish I would have just accepted the truth like you did. You are awesome. Thank you.

Helen said...

Nice to see some of your truth can be happy!

Lawendula said...

It's me again:
Invitation to my new blog project

It would be nice to have you in there!

Please check out:

If you want to be in, please leave a comment on my blog, to make sure you won’t be forgotten. Thanks.

See you!

Jean said...

Love this! I love that Happy is right there for you to grab when you need it!

:) Have a great week! Can't wait to read your Desire post!

sherry ♥ lee said...

I love that you are happy and you recognize it and embrace it! Just hearing someone say "I'm happy" makes others smile!

This stage in life -- perimenopausal is one of the most difficult as so much is happening within the body and the mind.

Looking forward to seeing what our week of desire is bringing forward!

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